“What’s a personal mantra or philosophy you live by?”
I laughed when I saw it.
Not because I didn’t know the answer.
But because I’ve spent the past few days thinking about it without realizing it.
If you had asked me this question when I was young, my answer might have been very different. I might have talked about hard work, determination, goals, faith, family, or perseverance.
Today, after many decades of life experience, my answer is much simpler.
People Are Carrying Stories We Cannot See
Life has taught me that every person is carrying a story.
Some stories are obvious.
Others remain hidden.
People carry grief.
People carry illness.
People carry loneliness.
People carry regrets.
People carry fears.
People carry disappointments.
Sometimes they carry burdens so heavy that simply getting through the day requires more courage than anyone around them realizes.
The longer I live, the less interested I am in judging people and the more interested I am in understanding them.
I’ve learned to ask questions.
What happened to this person?
What struggles have they faced?
What losses shaped them?
What strengths helped them survive?
Questions don’t erase accountability.
But they often create understanding.
And understanding makes room for grace.
These Are the People Who Made the People Who Made You
Many years ago, I became fascinated with genealogy.
As I researched ancestors, collected records, and pieced together family histories, I discovered something remarkable.
Every person is built upon countless lives that came before them.
People crossed oceans.
Survived wars.
Endured poverty.
Raised children.
Buried loved ones.
Started over.
Took risks.
Made sacrifices.
And because they did, we are here.
One of my favorite phrases in a baby book I created for my great-granddaughter was:
“These are the people who made the people who made you.”
I still believe that.
None of us exists in isolation.
We belong to a much larger story.
The Lord’s Tender Mercies
One of my favorite phrases comes from the scriptures:
“The tender mercies of the Lord.”
Over the years, I’ve learned that tender mercies aren’t always dramatic.
Sometimes they’re surprisingly ordinary.
A phone call.
A memory.
A photograph.
An old file discovered on a hard drive.
An encouraging conversation.
A relationship beginning to heal.
A little more time than I expected.
Sometimes the greatest blessings arrive quietly.
They don’t remove the trial.
They simply help us continue walking through it.
I’ve experienced many of those tender mercies throughout my life.
Some appeared exactly when I needed them.
Others weren’t recognized until years later.
Love Survives More Than We Think
I’ve lived long enough to learn that life rarely unfolds exactly as we planned.
Families face difficulties.
Relationships become strained.
Illness enters the picture.
Dreams change.
Mistakes happen.
There have been seasons when I wished circumstances were different.
There have been times when people misunderstood me.
And there have been times when I misunderstood others.
But one lesson keeps returning.
Love can survive more than we realize.
It can survive distance.
It can survive disappointment.
It can survive misunderstanding.
It can survive time.
Love does not always prevent pain.
But it often outlasts it.
The Philosophy I Live By
So if I had to summarize my personal philosophy in a few words, it would be this:
People are carrying stories we cannot see.
Look for the story.
Offer grace whenever possible.
Notice the Lord’s tender mercies.
Remember where you came from.
And never underestimate the power of love to survive difficult things.
Life has taught me that understanding another person’s story doesn’t change the past.
But it can change the future.
And sometimes, that is miracle enough.
❤️
Thanks for reading.
Shirley
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